Scene 5
Sequence 1
(Screen writes superstar dhananjay)
“baby doll mein sone di”
(After Garam’s done dancing and claps and cheers fades)
Garam- dosto, aaj jo hame iss show pe join karne bale hain, woh hamare usual bunch se thore hatke hain, jordar taliyon se swagat kijiye superstar Dhananjay ka
(Audience in themselves-kaun hai dhananjay)
(superstar dhananjay enters)
Audience –booh
(garam cover his mouth and laugh,then)-please audience behave
(suddenly some one start to throw eggs at superstar Dhananjay)
Garam- arrey set pe andey kaha se aaya, nikalo uss aadmi ko bahar)
(security comes in ,screen goes blank)
Sequence 2
(suddenly superstar Dhananjay is sitting on couch, and garam on his own seat)
Garam- arrey yeh egg shell rah gaya(points to dhananjay suit,a make up lady comes quickly, gets it from his suit,use some tissue on him, some one again starts booing)
Garam- phir, se nahi please(superstar dhananjay is looking down at his feet)- aap thik ho
Superstar dhananjay(very low and slowly)-haan, mein thik hoon, i am used to all this(tears roll down his cheeks, a guy boo again from audience, his girlfriend pushes her elbow in his ribs,girls and few guys too have tears in their eyes, garam offer superstar dhananjay a tissue and he wipe his tears off
Garam- aap bollywood mein debut kar rahe hain, experince kaisa hai so far,
Superstar(in low voice)-its same so far...
Garam- I am so sorry, thora uccha boliye, we cant hear you
Superstar Dhananjay(clear his throats)(audience claps and cheers in order to encourage him)(after a pause,still in low and calm voice)-Jyada farak nahi thi, waha pe logo ne bola nariyal pani bechne bala lagta hai, yaha pe chai wala
Garam-oh, chai se yaad aaya, aapki coffee thandi ho rahi hai
(audience hoots, superstar dhananjay is clueless)
Superstar Dhananjay-I think maine boli thi, main coffe nahi piti, sirf gingermilk tea
(neskofee team with neskofee tshirts gets up)- dammnit hum ne bola tha iss se maat bulao.
(garam signal them to shut up, they leave)
Garam(quickly in order to resume the conversation)- toh filmo me aapki journey kaise suru hui
Superstar dhananjay-see, mein actually film mein nahi aana chahti thi, par meri papa is a superstar down south......(talk slowly fades to a different scene)
Sequence 3
(in a crowded fish market, people are watching mega-supers-duper-star beating Young superstar dhananjay, Mega-super-duper-star have a lungi tied above his knee, he is using his one slipper to beating, another still in his foot, people indistinctly chatter in tamil, only thing that clearly can be understood is Mega-super-duper superstar)
-Papa, mein hero nahi banegi toh nahi banegi.
Mega-super-duper superstar- kyun nahi banegi(hits with chappal)
Kyun nahi banegi(hits again)
Superstar dhananjay- hum hero jaise nahi dikhti
Mega-super-duper superstar- kaun dikhti, woh pintoo dikhti, kaise nahi banegi tu hero, tu hero banegi(keep hitting)
Superstar dhananjay- par hum nahi banana chahti hero?
Mega super-duper superstar- Kyun nahi?
Superstar dhananjay- Arrey tum chappal niche rakh ke baat nahi kar sakti kya?
Mega-super-duper superstar- nahi, batao pehle hero kyun nahi banegi?
Superstar Dhananjay- kyun hum nariyal pani bechana chahti.
Sequence 4
(back to set)
Garam-kya,.... aap sachmuch nariyal pani bechana chahte the
Superstar dhananjay(now have two extra mike infront of him)you see, garam, mein logo ko healthy alternative drink dena chahta tha, mein nariyal pani ko branded karna chahta tha
(Neskofee team starts to argue loudly)
Garam-ooh, toh aab aap kis tarah ki filmein karte hain
Superstar Dhananjay- one might wonder seeing my physique par down south mein mostly action filmein karti hoon, you see waha jo aap ke papa kartein hain wahi repeat karna hota hai,There is actually a very intresting story
Sequence 5
(narration continue from prev sequence in superstar Dhananjay’s voice)
-Meri pehli film ki pehli shoot, logo ki expectation bahut thi mere papa ke karan, bahut sare papa ke fan shoot dekhne aayi
Roll
Camera
Action
(in an abandoned factory there are few villains,one of them is a north indian, superstar dhananjay is few feet apart from them, a girl is hiding behind him )
North indian villain(in hindi with tamil caption)- aaie tamilian, larki hamein do aur tum apane ghar jao, haha(they all laugh)
(superstar Dhananjay raises his foot, then encircle it in air, a wind blowing machine is blowing leaves underneath his foot, then he kicks the ground and sprain his ankle accidentally)
(crowd is disappointed nahi , nahi papa ko bhejo, another dude- re.......re, tum se nahi hoga,...re, tum se nahi hoga, tum nariyal paani bech
(while a strecher carry him away for medical attention)
Sequence 6
(audience claps)
Garam- wow, mere parents ke expectation iske samne kuch bhi nahi
Superstar Dhananjay- aap ka parent kya expect karti sir
Garam- bahu( audience laugh then hoot)
Garam- ok, aab hum superstar Dhananjay ka kuch clips dekhenge, jo hum normally north india me nahi dekhte
(on screen)
(screen writes action)
(superstar Dhananjay is seen beating impossible number of people)
(screen writes acting)
(superstar dhanan jay is seen in different moods, doing great acting)
(compared to other south star- prabesh bau)
(and prabesh babu says something funny in telugu)
(superstar dhananjay repeats same thing with emotion)
(superstar sanjay give threat to villain- Superstar Dhananjay repeat that too with emotion, it goes on and spoof few more south stars)
(screen write accolades)
(and the academy award, cane, golden bear ,golden globe, Grammy goes to, goes to, goes to, sup sup supe super superstar superstar Dhananjay_ from different footages)
(steven pielberg- Superstar Dhananjay rejected Jurrasic park 5 because he felt it was too comercial,Ang phi- he just didnt wanted to be bottom, Thats why you see jake gynellhal in brokeback mountain, not superstar Dhananjay(A madeup poster of Brokeback mountain is shown, in case he had accepted the film how it would have been))
(video stops, Audience cheers loudly, claps goes on and guy who threw eggs earlier is in chain now But he screams-We love you, superstar Dhananjay)
(after a minute or so when clapping fades)
Garam- wow, There is so much we dont know about south india, par aap ki bollywood me debut hone ja rahi ahi, woh bhi superstar soni kapoor ke saath, experience kaisa tha working with soni kapoor
Sequence 7
Location- a vanity van
(Superstar Dhananjay is sitting in front of make-up mirror, make-up bale bhaiya ji enters)
Bhaiya ji- arrey, kaun ho bhai?
Superstar dhananjay-umm.. umm.. u. hindi
Bhaiyaji- arrey, sahab ki kursi par kyun baithe ho, jao chai leke aao
Superstar dhananjay-Chai!!
Bhaiya ji- han chai, do cup
(superstar Dhananjay leaves, after a while soni enters)
Soni- sahab kidhar hai?
Bhaiya ji- Arrey hum bhi unhi ko dhund rahe hai na? pata nahi kaha hai?
(superstar Dhananjay enters with Chai)
Soni- Tum khud kyun chai leke aayein?
Bhaiya ji- kyun e kaun hai?
Soni(surprised)-arrey he is superstar dhananjay, iss film ke hero
Bhaiya ji(laugh)- e hero hai(roll on the floor laughing)
Soni(angry)- you are a racist looser
Bhaiya ji- madam ji, aap ki hindi to muskil se samajh me aawat hai, angrezi me ka fatar fatar bol rahi ho
Soni- get out, yeh samajh mein aaya tumhe
(bhaiya ji walks out)
Soni to Superstar Dhananjay-tum kyun chai lene gaye, arrey isse niche rakho, kya hai yaar
Superstar dhananjay- woh, .. usne... bola ..to
Soni(giggle) – you are so cute
Superstar Dhananjay- but he was right no, mein hero jaisa nahi dikhta
Soni- what are you talking about, dont let these morons get to your head dude, camera loves you
Superstar dhananjay- haan, but north india
Soni- kya north india
Superstar dhananjay- You know mein yaha pe nahi aana chahti thi parr mere papa(cut to another flash back)
(outside a filmcity, his father is beating him with a chappal again)
-Hindi film reject ki, hindi, rascala
Superstar dhananjay- papa kya kar rahi ho, mere fans dekh rahi hai, i am a star now
Mega super duper superstar- tere baap ko kabhi chance nahi mili, teri himmat kaise hui hindi producer reject karne ki
(back to van)
Soni-Dhananjay
Superstar dhananjay(quickly)- haan
Soni- kahan kho gaye?
Superstar dhananjay- mein director banana chahti thi north mein, following foot step of prabhu sir, you know
Soni- what rubbish man, tum camera ke aage ki liye bane ho, dude tum handsome ho
(after a pause, superstar dhananjay lean to kiss soni)
Soni(backing off)- oh no....
Superstar dhananjay(giggle sadly)- mujhe pata thi..
Soni- nahi woh baat nahi hai..
Superstar dhananjay- its ok mein tumhare liye bahut kala hoon
Soni-par mujhe kali pasand hai..(stop realizing what she just said)
Superstar dhananjay- mere saath rehte tumhari hindi bhi buri ho gayi, kali nahi kala
Soni(hesitatingly)- actually .......(they both look into each other eyes)
Superstar dhananjay- deepika!!
(soni slap his bicep)
-Oh,sorry kanika, kanika padukoney
Soni- yupp, but i kind of like wish right now ki mein sidhi hoti, i would have totally done it with you(hugs him)
Superstar dhananjay(still in hug)- ab mein samjhi tum chintoo ji ke larke ko kyun itna dislike karti
Soni- dude, shut up
Sequence 8
(back to set)
(audience claps)
Superstar dhananjay- she was very supporting, very sweet (people cheers)
Garam – ok then, ab baari hai quiz ki( audience cheers)
(garam have these cards in his hand)
Ok, in me se kaun sa new comer ka, aap ke hisab se future brightest hai bollywood mein and your option are- chintu ji ka larka, garib khan ka bhanja, oscar ji ka bhatija, ya phir ruk ruk khan(audience cheers loudly on last one)
Superstar Dhananjay- i know about pintoo, kyun ki soni kabhi kabhi uski naam leti thi, but i havent seen any of his work(audience laugh)
Garam(with a smile)- ok so he is out
Superstar dhananjay- actually mein yahi bol rahi thi , mein aur kisi ko bhi nahi janti
Garam(surprised)- par mene badshah, the king, superstar ruk ruk khan ka bhi naam liya
Superstar Dhananjay(casually)- haan, woh kaun hai
(garam and audience gasps, huge shock)
Garam- aap ruk......ruk khan ko nahi janti apapapa, mera matlab nahi jante?
Superstar dhananjay(Casually)- nahi(audience gasp again)
Garam- superstar ruk...ruk khan ko nahi jante aap?
Superstar dhananjay (very casually)- no
Sequence 9
(Audience and garam are chasing Superstar Dhananjay)
Arre bhaiya ji gadi nikalti jaldi
(the make up man from van starts the car,superstar dhananjay gets in backseat, they leave angry mob behind and ride away)
Superstar dhananjay (heavy breathing)- mein ab kabhi noth india nahi aayegi, papa jo bhi bole
Bhaiya ji- arrey, ka baat kar rahe ho, hamare UP bale bhiya ke saath kaun kaam karega
Superstar dhananjay- Kya?
Bhaiya ji—arrey, e jo naya script aaya hai tumhare liye(show a script in front row passenger seat) Jaymitabh ka , u nahi karoge, ... Amitabh bac pan ke sath
Superstar dhananjay(casually again)- kaun amitabh bach pan?
(car stops, tire screech)
Bhaiya ji(looks back) – sasuri, tum amitab bach pan ko nahi jante ho re
(superstar Dhananjay slowly nod his head in no)
(bhaiya ji is chasing superstar dhananjay in middle of a highway, causing a jam, other car honks)
End of scene 5
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