Scene 8
Sequence 1
(screen writes abhi sheikh bach pan)
Sequence 1
(garam’s set)
“ mere piya gaye rangoon”
“waha se kiya hai telefun”
“tumhari yaad satati hai”
(abhi sheikh bach pan enters and dance more gayily than garam)
( after the song is over, before garam could speak)
Abhi sheikh- Brischa ho bhale khade
Ho ghane ho bade
Ek patra chanha bhi
Mang mat, mang mat, mang mat
Agneepath, Agneepath,Agneepath
(audience hoots)
Tu na thakega kabhi
Tu na Thamega kabhi
Tu na mudega kabhi
Kar shapath,kar shapath,kar shapath
Agneepath, agneepath, agneepath
(audience hoots more loudly)
Yaha mahan drishya hai
Chal raha manushya hai
Aansu, sweda, rakhta se
Latpat,latpat,latpat
Agneepath,Agneepath,Agneepath
(Audience stands and claps)
Abhi sheikh- But Garam isn’t moved at all( audience hoots louder)
Garam- baith ke baat karein
Abhi sheikh- worst pick up line ever used on me
Garam- kaun iss line ko pick up line ki tarah use karti hai
Abhi sheikh- aur bhi kisi pe use huwa hai yeh line?
Kispe?
Garam(A bubble form on Garam’s head with sallu bhai picture, he quickly changes the subject) – So you are a father now
(audience cheers, garam takes his seat, Abhi sheikh seat on his lap, audience cheers louder now)
Garam- Thori sharam karo Abhi-sheikh, ek bacche ke baap ho, puri couch khali hai
Abhi sheikh- mujhe toh yehi seat pasand hai(audience cheers,garam pushes him)
Garam- so i was asking how is fatherhood
Abhi sheikh(mimicking garam)- so i was asking how is fatherhood
Garam- seriously, tum mera majak ura rahe ho, abhi bhi tumhari haat tedhi hai
(abhi sheikh quickly regain his posture, audience giggle)
Abhi sheikh- father hood is great garam, mein diaper change karta hoon, doodh ubalta hoon, raat raat bhar jaag ke sulata hoon
Garam- aur misses kya karti hai?
Abhi sheikh- Kaam(audience cheers)
Garam- abhi-sheikh tumhe bahut struggle karna pada, finally log aab tum he sirf tumhari papa ke naam se nahi jante, aab tum apni patni ki naam se bhi jane jate ho,(audience laugh)
Abhi sheikh- ha ha, very funny garam, and you are finally thin now, how does that feel looser?(audience laugh)
Garam – aur 20 years me kya hoga abhi sheikh, log tumhe tumhari beti ke naam se janenge ( audience laugh)
Abhi sheikh- kam se kam, woh meri apani beti hogi, audience taliyah(shows clapping gesture,audience laughs harder) bhatttt.....
Garam(visibly annoyed)- and how is dance lesson coming abhi-sheikhhh...
Abhi sheikh-oh, oh okay, radha teri chunri pe struggle kara raha hoon
Garam- ha, ha very funny, struggle se yaad aaya career kaisi chal rahi hai,(punches on his arm play fully)
Abhi sheikh- career se yaad aaya bhojpuri award show host karoge(punches him bacK)
Garam- oh, okay agar tum bhojpuri me debut kar rahe ho to kyun nahi(punches back hard)
(they exchange punches until they both fall down, audience keep cheering they both fall down from couch, then there is silence and talk among audience like- arrey, kya huwa?
Serious, tha kya?
Lag gayi kya?
Abhi sheikh- that was part of the show ladies and gentlemen.
(audience cheers)
Garam- toh abhi sheikh tumhare jo 10-12 fan hai, woh naraj hai, kyunki unhe lagta hai ki tumhare saath dhoooooooooooooom 3 me fair nahi huwa
Abhi sheikh- see, it’s all very technical garam, as an actor i have to trust my director, and i put all my trust in director, dhooooooooooooooom franchise will always belong to jay and ali
(slowly transit to sequence 2)
(Garib khan only with a radio on is on a chair, and says)- dekho, script me kuch majja nahi aya(his famous finger movement) majja nahi aya, iss me thora aur change karo, isse aur behtar banao,(take out two fingers by accident) arrey sasuri, e ka do ungli kyun nikala,.... aaiela idea, mein judwa rahunga, double role, double role.
(back to set)
Sequence 3
(audience claps)
Abhi sheikh- see, it’s very technical, Garam
Garam- wow, ok then let’s call our next guest, ladies and gentlemen, a director, an actress, choreographer, and very dear friend of mine Sarah khan
(sarah khan enters, music plays, wave hi to audience, audience cheers, all three of them hug each other and take their respective seats)
Garam- how have you been sarah?(a kid run across the stage screaming scene cuts)
Sequence 4
Garam(re)- how have you been sarah?
Sarah- you know, actually (a kid run again, screaming)-
Girish kya kar raha hai yaar?
(sorry- sound come from the corner)
Haan, toh main bol rahi thi, mein thik hu , tum kaise ho?
Garam- mein aisa hi hoon (audience laugh)
So shall we compete for coffee hamper?
Abhi sheikh- yeah i was waiting for this for my whole life.
Garam- ok, rapid fire round, ladies first
Sarah- no, baba not in this (giggle)
Abhi sheikh- i don’t mind
Garam- ok, abhi sheik are you ready
Abhi sheikh- yeah baby
Garam- first question...
Abhi sheikh(quick)-ruk ruk khan(every one claps and cheers)
Garam- okayy.., second question
Abhi sheikh- varun, alia and siddartha (every one hoots and cheers)
Garam- ok, let me ask third question
Abhi sheikh(quicker)- not tushar kapoor(audience giggle)
Garam- abhi, you are ruining this for me , ok sidhe sidhe last question pe aate hain, who would you turn gay for?
Abhi sheikh- ok, people in the house, let me hear you(audience and abhi together)- john abraham
(and every one laugh)
Garam(still laughing, jokingly)- ok, and who would you turn straight for?
Abhi sheikh(all serious suddenly)- you know, i actually did.
(and every one is akward)
Sequence 5
(there is a visible scene cut)
Garam(to sarah)- rank them according to their acting talent, your option are irfan khan, pankaj kapoor, manoj bajpai, nawajudin siddiqi, nasurdeen shah aur ruk ...ruk khan
Sarah- well, ruk...ruk khan and others in the same order you said it
(audience claps and hoot)
Garam- thats a good answer, who among these have a brighter future in bollywood, fashion designer ke bhatije, director ke bete,producer ke bete, actor ke bhanje ya phir iss picture ke producer ka bhai
Abhi-sheikh-ooh, baby
Sarah-yeah,this is a tough one, iss picture ke producer ke bhai ko iss list se nikaldo(every one laugh)
Garam- no you cannot do that
Sarah- then i dont want to answer
Abhi sheikh- yeah.., coffee hamper
Garam- ok last question, who would you turn gay for?
Sarah (after a while of thinking)- Aishwirya rai (everyone laugh except for abhi sheikh)
Garam- ok. Ladies and gentlemen, break ke baad hum janenge ki who won the coffee hamper?
“na na na na na na na na”
Neskoffe presents garam koffe with garam will be back after the break
Sequence 6
Ad no 1
( a guy is buying a soap, a sound comes from nowhere-
Kya, sir larkiyo bala saboon?
Guy(cool)- its ok dude, mein gay hun, mujhe mardangi ka wasta nahi chahiye
( a mucchad men enters, start beting guy senseless and look at the camera,- mard bano, mardo ki sabun lagao)
( screen goes to blank, only sound is heard)
Arrey, kya huwa bhos***, dusra Ad chala
Bollywood ki celeb ki interview chinese mein, TRP teri ma ki ch** se aayegi, nahi hai dusra AD
Toh apni channel ki show ka AD dikha, kuch toh dikha Chu****
Sequence 7
“kyunki saas bhi...”
( shows clip from the show, then a guy’s voice take over in american accent- kya aap roj roj wahi saas bahu ki drama dekh kar thak gaye hain, kya aap modern family dekhna chahte hain?
(photos under photo promo- a weird white man is married to an avatar alien, in another photo- a really old due is married to a 10 yr old kid, in another one a dog is married to a cat, in last one an indian man(indian by american standard) is married to a chinese women)
AAdhunik parivar sirf sitara duniya par-says the man after promo is over.
Promo no 2
Sequence 8
(shows group of weird teen agers)
I (shows first one) T(another one) W(next) O(next) s(another one)E(other one
In American accent over random funny footage- Indian Teens Who Only Speak English( a footage show a worm being battered deep fried in a fast food resturant)
A kid say- we only speak english, only eat american food and watch american TV how we backward(indian accent)
Another weirdo(sign shows american airport)- if i wanted a colonoscopy i would have gone to hospital man(crying holding his ass)
(someone scream)- dont let that fucking Arab get on the fucking palne.
Another weird girl- harley davidson, eminem,mcdonald, big bang theory, me know america see
(some one scream from background)- fuck off arab
ITWOSE original sitara duniya creation exclusively only on sitara duniya
Sequence 9
“na na na na na na na na”
Neskoffe presents garam koffee with Garam
Garam- welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, aap ka swagat hai, so like jaise ki meine promise kiya tha winner of the coffee hamper is.....(abhi sheikh is biting his nail)- Abhi sheikh bach pan.
(Abhi sheikh jumps on the floor screaming- yeah)
(audience cheers and hoots)
Abhi sheikh- i am not sharing
sarah- mujhe pata hai.
Garam- ladies and gentlemen abhi iss show pe kuch aur mehman aane bale hain, any guesses....
(every one is quiet, then three kids come running)
Audience- awww.... (and claps)
Kids- Abhi sheikh uncle(and jump all over him, pulling his hair and everything)
Garam- ok, sarah while Abhi sheikh keep them busy, why dont you tell us about happy few years?
Sarah- ok garam(kids start eat all the chocolate from abhi sheikh hamper, he is visibly angry)
(audience claps, abhi hair and dress is all mess, his hamper is empty, kids mouth have chocolate all over them, one of them whisper in sarah’s ear)
Mama
Sarah- haan beta
-maine na, susu kardi
abhi reacts- oh my god, my pants,
“nandu bhide, dimag me kide”
Garam- you know, sarah kabhi kabhi me sochta hoon, mein aisa kyun hoon, mein aisa kyun hoon, mein jaisa hoon mein waisa kyun hoon, phir aise moments aate hain, mein sochta hoon mein jaisa bhi hoon, thik hoon
Sequence 10
(three of them abhi sheikh, sarah and garam stands in front of the digital cam and take selfie, all in pouting postion, then camera zoom full and abhi sheikh is only in his underwear, audience cheers
Abhi sheikh- yeh apun ka choice hain(audience cheers louder)
Garam- ok now, we have come towards the end of the show,...
(a kid come running suddenly)
Arrey samhalke coffe garam hain- screams garam but too late kid spill it all over him and starts to cry.
(audience gasp)
(sarah goes to corner and starts beating a guy- Aur ruk...ruk marta hai, toh puchte ho kyun?
End of scene 8.
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