Satvik lotion

Scene 4

screen writes Satvik lotion

Sequence 1

“tere liy hi to signal tod tar ke”

“aaya dilli wali girlfriend chor char ke”

“ gay, gay”

(garam is dancing as usual, suddenly satvik enter in middle of the song, audience hoots)

(starts break dancing audience hoots, music change to dubstep)

(music stops)

Garam- ladies and gentlemen-Satvik lotion

(Satvik starts to dance again all of the sudden without any music, garam is akward, audience cheers, sound engineer after coming into senses quickly put on music again to match his break dance, but he accidentally puts on 

                             “dil ke arman”)

(Satvik starts to cry on stage)

(Garam signals sound engineers to cut the music or he will get slapped)

(music stops)

(garam kind of drags satvik to couch,there’s silence among audience)

Garam- saant ho jao, yeh lo coffee piyo

(sad satvik grab the cup)

Garam(in normal and simpler tone)- arrey samhalke, cofee garam hai

(and audience suddenly giggles, which turns into a whole laugh, which even crack up satvik)

(satvik stand up)

Satvik-Oh, Garam i love you

(audience hoots)

I do, and i am not embarrassed to admit it,(all cheered up) and i love this stage,(audience cheers get louder), this couch, this coffee, (audience cheers keep getting louder), aur yeh industry, i love it,(screams) i love my life, but again garam, i love you(kiss him full on his lips, garam is stunned)

-I love garam, and i love you audience

Audience-Satvik, Satvik, Satvik, Satvik, Satvik

Satvik- do you wanna see my body?

Audience-(yeah...)

Satvik- Garam, do you want to see my body?

Garam(confused)- ummm....

Satvik-soch lo, phir mauka nahi milega

Garam(still not sure)- o...k...a..y

(satvik rips his shirt off, show his  amazing abs)

(A guy faints in audience, his girlfriend start to kick his unconscious body, Garam mouth is wide open, girls go crazy)

Satvik-(sits back on couch shirtless)- muh band karo, makkhi ghus jayegi(to Garam, Audience giggles)

Garam (embarrassed, regain conscious)-What rubbish, hamare set pe koi makkhi nahi, can we have another shirt please?(audience, especially girls- nooooo)

Satvik- You know, yeh shirt maine los angeles se liya tha, 300 dollars mein(screams) but i dont care(stand up again) i dont care beacause i love you, i love you guys(start to dance again,audience cheers,sound guy puts on a dubstep this time)

(Director of the show makes a watch sign on his wrist to Garam, stating they are getting late, Garam again signal sound guy to cut the music in same way, another shirt come, two girls have hard time chasing and putting the shirt on satvik, audience cheers, director of the show is banging his head on the wall)

(After a while when satvik finally has shirt on, he take his seat, but he try get up again, garam hold his hand_

-Satvik, baitho mujhe tum se kuch sawal bhi puchne hain

Satvik-ask me, ask me anything garam(more enthusiastic than ever) ask me personal questions(audience cheers), meri chaddi ka rang pucho garam (Garam have awkward expression , while audience cheers) ,meri sex life ki details puccho, kuch bhi pucho, meri bowel movement pucho, Whatever garam, whatever(audience cheers)

Garam- nahi, mein actually thori serious bateein karna chahta tha.

Satvik- ok, serious bhi chalega, ok ask garam shoot

Garam- hamein pata hai aapko, suru ke dino mein bahut struggle karna pada.

Satvik- haan, garam

Garam- kuch un dino ke baare me bataiye

(Satvik face suddenly turns red like of agneepaath, light goes dim)

Sequence 2

(In a classroom, on blackboard a figure is drawn, of a kid with six fingers captioned jadoo, all other kids are laughing except for kid satvik)

(kid satvik return to his home, throw his backpack, a partially bald man is doing aarti to jadoo’s murti)

Kid satvik(in koi mil gaya’s accent)- papa, saarein bacche meri chatti ungli ki majak urate hain, mein isse kyun nahi hata sakta

Papa lotion- Beta, kyunki jo hamein jadoo ne diya hai, hamein uss mein khus rehna chahiye

Kid satvik- papa, aur koi jadoo ka puja nahi karta, sirf hum hi kyun karte hain

Papa lotion- Kyun ki ye hamare kul devta hai, par tum dekhna ek din me inpe film banauga, tumhe hero lekar, aur yeh samast bharat(to camera) mein mashoor hojayenge, bolo jadooo maharaj ki

Kid satvik- jay..

Sequence 3

(kid satvik is all grown up, in a hospital with a doctor)

Doctor-sorry, par aap kabhi bhi hero nahi baan sakte

Satvik-Nahi, par...p..ar.do..c,doc..doctor me.. itna h..i ja..nta hu..

Doctor- aap thik se bol loge wahi bahut hoga.

Satvik-NAHI.....

(satvik is in practice room dancing manly to the tune of

“kaate nahi kat te din ye raat”

“lo aaj me kahti hoon”

“i love you”

(music plays on in between he is reciting lines like-

Kaccha papad, pakka papad

Kappa pakka paappa kaaccha

Aaahh..screams

(it plays on)

Sequence 4

(satvik is drunk and have a bottle in his hand, in jadoo 

‘s room)

(in koi mil gaya’s accent)

Wah, jadoo wah, aaj khus to bahut hoge tum,

.... hum ne tum pe pictur banaye, tum he all india mashoor kiya, tumne mujhe kya diya, yeh.. yeh chatti ungli, yeh broken speech pattern, Aur koi bhi, kisi bhi star son ko itna mehant nahi karna para, jitni maine ki hai, aur jab me finally khus tha, happy tha mein, toh tum ne meri personal life pe attack kar di, go to hell(throw bottle, glass behind jadoo breaks, and kind of a door open)

(satvik when comes near the gate, it has a touch screen info on it)

(satvik tries all his five fingers, it doesnt open, then he looks on his sixth finger, Music palys

“jadoo, jadoo”

“jadoo,Jadoo”

(satvik put his sixth finger on it, and doors open, jadoo music plays louder)

(then he saw Garib khan inside, all naked only with a radio on his crotch, huge ears, wide eyes, waiting for him)

-Arrey,garib khan

(after a long pause, satvik stares at his crotch and say-

Toh tu  jadoo ho?

Garib khan- arrey sasuri, hamari aankhein idhar hai,(point fingers to denote eyes)

(satvik looks up)

-Aur jadoo naahi, u toh hamari chacha raha, hum GK hu Gk

Satvik- kaun GK

GK- arrey wahi jo taliyah ke paas nahi hai

Satvik- kya?

Gk- arrey sasuri kaisa aadmi hai tu joke bhi nahi samajhta, hum samjhate hai, humari chacha aur hum alag, alag gole se hain, hamara sirf height ek hai, banki sab bilkule different hai, (after a pause), hamara chacha bola ki tum pe najar rakhe, u sasuri honeymoon par he lady gaga ke saath

Satvik- aur yeh khyal rakha tumne mera?

Gk- idhar aab

(satvik is nervous)

_aaie sasuri dara naahi, chala idhara aab

(and GK hold sixth finger of satvik, satvik become normal, different from koi mil gaya, and become a stud,have super abs now speak normally)

Satvik- itna aasan tha toh itna mehanat kyun karbaya

GK- mehnat nahi karta toh sasuri tu bhi Abhi-sheikh bach pan ki tarah petwa na nikalta.

Satvik- ewwww..., mein soch bhi nahi sakta

GK-Exactly sasuri, aur ka queries hai tumhari

Satvik(gets emotional)- you know....

Gk- i do, idhar aao, arrey aao..

(remove his radio)

Pakda

Satvik- kya..?

GK- arrey pakada, E hamar chattti ungli hai,sasuri e tum log apne gole pe choti bato ko badi deal bandaiet ho

(Satvik hold it after a lot of hesitation, Gk hold satvik’s sixth finger(One on his hand))

G.K- sab dikh raha hai

(music plays-“kites in the sky”)

Satvik- haan

G.K- kya samjhe?

Satvik-yehi ki, har kyun ka koi jabab nahi hota,

G.K- arrey, sasuri tu toh bahut fast hai, bass itna samajh ne ke liye hum ne apane chaccha ka 6 ghante pakad ke khada tha.

(after a while both still in same position)

G.K- for a change, tum mere gole ki kisi larki ko kyun nahi date karte

Satvik(excited)- accha, tumhare gole ki larkiyaan kaisi hoti hai

G.k- arrey sasuri toh hum kaa hai?

(satvik jump back,throw GK’s sixth finger off)

-chiii

Sequence 5

(back to set)

(audience claps)

Garam- what rubbish? I dont believe this, aap ke paas kya sabut hai ki GK real hai?

Satvik- aap ko sabut chahiye?

(Suddenly naked GK only with a radio enters, his butt crack shows, Music plays)

“aayo re aayo”

“rangile mehman”

(Audience goes into shock,Garam faints)

(all of sudden another song come into play)

“Taki re taki, taki re taki”

(From audience ,GK,satvik to crew every one look around wondering for the source of the sound, garam wakes up and look at sound guy angrily, sound guy raise both hands and nod his head negatively, as not me)

(Scene cut to Ek thi house)

Ek Thi- Papa mein script padh rahi hoo na

Jitu ji(still dancing)- kya...... beta, mein..... toh... dance practice kar raha hoon.

Ek thi- jaake doosre room mein karo na

End of scene 4