Ruk.....Ruk khan

Scene 9

Ruk.....ruk khan

Sequence 1

(ruk...ruk khan is watching tv, and tv says)-

you are watching CNN-i only speak english hon,भारत कि एक मात्र शुद्ध अंग्रेजी चेनल , 

(then sajnikant appear on tv, he is giving autogrpah to a crowd, and someone says)- arrey yeh bhi koi star hai, star to hai, shreyas talpade, ritesh deshmukh.(hindi dubbed, have english subtitle)

Another guy- tum kaha se ho?

First guy- me marathi manush.

Some another guy-Tum bahar se aake hamare bhagwaan ko bhala bura kehti, maro isse(and crowd start to beat the guy)

(sajni kant comes forward and stop them)

In hindi dubb- yeh kya kar rahe ho, kyun mar rahe ho bichare ko?

Crowd- iss ne aap ko gali di, isne aapki barabari ritesh aur shreya talpade se kiya

Sajnikant-toh kya huwa, jaise mein aap logo ka chahita hoon, waise hi woh inke star hai

Crowd- par bhagwan shreyas talpade

(scene comes back to studio, and cyrus pocha start talking)

-You were watching a prelude from superstar god sajnikant upcoming film, -I am Sajnikant, the tiger and The lion, and here we have the god himself- superstar god Sajnikant

(camera goes to sajnikant without any wig)

Superstar god sajnikant- ha ha ha ha, nahi cyrus woh to logo ne aise hi mujhe bula na suru kardiya, yeh to logo ka pyar hai,

Cyrus – sir, par mujhe lagta hai india me sirf ek hi superstar hai, aur woh aap ho

Superstar god sajnikant- arey, nahi nahi na

(ruk...ruk khan rose from his seat, da....da....da..driver gadi nikalo)

Sequence 2

(On set of cyrus)

Cyrus- par sir, toh kya yeh bhi rumor hai ki mangal pe aap ka murti mila

Superstar god sajnikant- ha ha ha, haan cyrus woh bhi rumor hai

(ruk..ruk enters and slap cyrus pocha)

Sequence 3

(different news footages,A women appear on tv she has five finger print on her cheeks,- ruk...ruk khan, maaf kijiye ga(drink water) superstar ruk...ruk khan fir se biwado mein hai, iss baar unhone journalist aur bhadi bharkam actor cyrus pocha ko chata mara,

Channel change(the guy has five finger print on his cheek- sannatey ko chirti sansani, aage dekhiye ek aisi saksiyat ko jo baat baat pe thappad laga deti hai, channel change- music tv(a host with five finger print is asking random pedestrian – kya aap ne kabhi ruk....ruk khan se chata khaya hai,(every one in three says yes) channel change- (sallu bhai have finger print on his cheek and so does the contestant)-kitne pratishat(body movement) bhartiyo ne ruk...ruk khan se thappad khayein hai?(channel change, a nepali speak in a resturant with print mark on his cheek,)- meine kaha ooh sahab ji mein aap ka noodle nahi khaya jab aap bathroom gaya tha?(mimick ruk...ruk khan)- nahi, tu..tumne hi khaya hoga, kyunki tu nepali hai.(channel change)-(a school bus driver with finger mark)- hum ne to bus bola ki sahab yaha pe smoke maat karo, bus mein bacche hain) camera run back to inside of the bus where kids in uniform, with fingerprint and watery eyes nods their heads as yes)

(scene cut to first anchor- bane rahiye,break ke baad baat karenge expert girish khunder se)

Sequence 4

(ruk...ruk turn off the TV)

P.R(have finger print on his cheeks)-sir, yeh had ho gaya aap ko respond karna parega

Ruk...Ruk khan-hmmm..... hai.....

P.R- sir yeh bali response nahi, award show pe thora dhanga ka speech do aap

Sequence 5

(cut to an award show)

(amitab bach pan on stage)

Debiyo aur sajjano, mein bahut bahut abhari hun, aapne mujhe iss kabil samjha, mujhe nahi maloom mein aapka shukriya ada kaise karoon

(scene cut to ruk...ruk khan)

-hmm.....hai...k...k....kiran, kyun dena pada na,(show award,people cheers) nahi deti toh mein aata hi nahi.....hai...hmmm

(garam is cheering, while all other celebrity are offended)

(back to ruk...ruk house)

Sequence 6

P.R- aap ko garam ki show pe jana chahiye, waha jaa ke bolo ki yeh sab rumor hai

Ruk...ruk- yeh thik hai..., ab idhar aao

P.R(cover his both cheeks)- aab meine kya kiya hai?

(scene cut to garam’s show)

Sequence 7

(garam dances gayily)

“suraj huwa matham”

“chand dhalne laga”

(when line comes)

“mein thehra rah)

(ruk..ruk joins in as a male lead)

(after the song ends, garam toss off his unmatching odhani to a background junior,- ladies and gentlemen, a man who needs no introduction superstar Ruk....ruk khan

(Audience goes nuts and they both take their respective seat)

Garam- so, how have you been?

Ruk....ruk- you know how, garam?

(garam shys, audience hoots)

Ruk....Ruk- garam, coffee thandi kyun hain?

Garam- because i know you like cold coffee(more shyly and with more ada, cuteness, audience hoots and clap louder)

Garam(after hooting fades)- aap ke bare me ek vile rumor hai, aap usse adress karna chahoge?

Ruk...ruk- haan, kyun nahi, garam media hum stars ko exploit karti hai, the whole slap thing is ridiculous, i am a very reasonable person

(light goes out, all of sudden)

(there is a glowing neon slap print on every one cheek from crew to audience, except for garam, when camera pans to left of ruk..ruk, he have a print on himself too, then garam gets up and a neon slap print is on his butt cheek)- arrey generator chalo bhai- says garam.

(light is back)

Garam- oh...india(audience giggles)

Toh aap ne iss bich south ke super....(garam stops, and there is an akward silence)

Sequence 8

(we can clearly understand there’s been a scene cut, garam eyes tearful and have red slap print on his face cheek)

Garam(in about to almost cry voice)-toh aap ne  iss bich south ke star sajnikant ke sath kafi waqt bitaya, tell us woh experince kaisa tha

Ruk...ruk- he is very humble man garam, tum mujhe to jante ho(garam wipe off his tear with a hanky-hmm..) meri toh Sali attiude hi bahut bari hai, baat baat pe haat jati hai(audience cheers) par woh thore hatke hain

Sequence 9

(cut to a flashback)

(superstar god sajnikant without wig, in plain shirt and dhoti, ruk...ruk khan in suit and goggle in a dosa place)

Superstar god sajnikant- this is the best dosa place in the whole world, you should try ruk..ruk

Ruk...ruk- nahi, mein aise hi kisi bhi cheej ko muh nahi lagata

(the same Bhaiya ji from superstar dhananjay episode enters)

Bhaiya ji(to sajnikant)- arrey sasuri, tum bhi koi hero hai, saar pe baal nahi, shirt aur dhoti lagake dosa kha rahe ho, hero to e hai(Ruk...ruk swell with pride)

Superstar god rajnikant(flip ketchup bottle in style)- arrey koi baat nahi, sab ka apna apna najariya hota hai

Ruk...ruk- bus itna hi aap usko kuch nahi kahoge

Superstar god sajnikant-nahi, ruk...ruk mein bekar ki jhagdo aur lafdo me biswas nahi rakhta, bekar ki lafda aur stupid publicity stunt se aaj tak  kise faida huwa hai(poonam pandey who is siting in bikini in dosa place look at their table)

(ruk...ruk falls on sajnikant feet)- yeh baat mujhe aaj tak kisi ne nahi bataya

Superstar god sajnikant- arrey, re re, yeh kya kar rahe ho, utho, dosa khao

(back to set)

Garam- wow( ruk ruk have tear in his eyes)

(garam and audience claps)

Sequence 10

(another flashback)

(Bhaiya ji who insulted superstar god sajni kant is trapped between electric wire of street pole, superstar god sajni kant with wig now, his hair flying throws a chew gum in air and catch it with his mouth while music plays)

“aara tera, isko pita isko mara”

“aie shivaji, aie shivaji”

Sequence 11

(back to set)

Ruk..ruk- toh sajni sir ki  honest aur humble attiude dekh kar, garam, aur unke stardom ko dekh kar, mein inspire huwa hoon, aur aaj se me bhi utna hi humble aur honest hona chahta hoon

(audience claps)

Garam- thats really sweet of you

Ruk...ruk-toh(remove his wig) yeh rahi meri honesty

(audience gasps, lots of them faints, garam faints, a theater is showing “sale dulhaniya lejayenge”-3000 shows running, stops, Taliyah is crying over tv, with chocolate and her teeth braces being highlight, lots of girls break their churis screaming nahi, a fat guy is crying over tv- why ruk...ruk ..why?

Shows sajni kant(laugh, flip goggle and wear it and say)- arrey o munna, sajnikant ek hi hai, tum doosra nahi baan sakte?

Sequence 12

(back to set)

(ruk...ruk wear his wig back, its Ulta)

Hmm... hai, arrey mein toh majak kar raha tha hmm.., aaa oo aaa oaoa aaa aaoouuu- he is surprised by his new sound, so is every one else and he touch his vocal chord and try to speak again.

Aaaaoooo aaua ao ooa aa oia(subtitle writes- please didi mujhe sunny leaone ke saath ek baar, ek baar)

Sequence 13

(scene change)

Tushar- aa oao ooo aaa aoo oa aoa oa(please didi, please please please please)

Ek thi- haan bola na, sochungi, kitna disturb karte ho, pehli baar me sun li na meine 

(tushar is happy)

Sequence 14

(a hand is shown knocking a door)

(writer of this script open it, The hand slaps him)